Thursday, June 09, 2016

Chit Chat: The Stanford Survivor

This morning I saw a link on Buzzfeed sharing Vice President Joe Biden's open letter to the woman survivor of the Stanford sexual assault and rape trial. His letter was warming to read and while I already admired the man, I respect him even more now. I hadn't read the woman's statement prior to reading Joe Biden's open letter. I have only read headlines I saw on Facebook, but I was restricting myself from reading about the actual trial and details. His open letter made me feel like she deserved to have her statement read, no matter how much I personally was scared to hear it.

I have been sitting here at my desk, reading her statement, through blurred vision from tears of empathy. From her statement, I admire her determination to grasp the last emotional strength she has to endure the trial while fighting to live a life, not normal, but also not alone.

It is heartbreaking that this woman had to be a part of this whole situation, but it is also heartwarming that she chose to spend every ounce of energy she had to fight for justice.

So many woman are assaulted and raped and never report or even utter words of it. They suffer with the residual internal agony of shattered innocence and security in this disgustingly evil society where women are fuck-objects for men to look upon as they please, touch as they please, and defile as they please... all without any serious fear of incarceration.

I have been assaulted numerous times since I was a little girl.
I have been raped three times in my life.
I have been beaten and blamed for what has been forced upon me.
I have been deserted by those I thought I could trust because apparently it is believable that I would allow or even entice such things to happen to me.
I have been suffering with undying images that haunt my subconscious, of every sickening act that has been done to me.
I have been fighting to suppress and hide the random moments of crying I seem to fall into every month of my life.
I hate to watch movies or shows that include gratuitous sexual harassment, molestation, sexual assault, rape, etc. - all for ratings and drama and money - it belittles what actually happens to women around the world on a daily basis.

I never imagined to share my personal demons on the internet. It's so hard to live with, and even harder to say it outside of my own mind.

Reading this woman's statement had me thinking that if every victim never said anything, would the world believe it really does happen as often and as close to home as it honestly does?

It absolutely angers me and disappoints me that the sentencing of the Stanford sexual assault and rape trial was so unapologetic and so insulting to the devastating seriousness of this entire situation. As if women and men, girls and boys, are not already terrified and ashamed to admit they are victims of sexual violations, now they can feel that even the justice system won't stand up for them.
When I was assaulted and raped, I never told anyone. I always felt that it would be useless anyways seeing as I didn't have proof or witnesses. And now, even with proof and witnesses, this man gets off so easy.

We can only pray this will be rectified.